Weeks 20-25/52 Part 1 – OPW Challenge 2024

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Here’s a summary of what I’ve been up to and why I haven’t been keeping up with my blog: the school year ended, I ended a long-term relationship, I went out of town to celebrate my sister’s birthday, my washer broke, I got two flat tires, I had to go to the dentist and eye doctor, I’ve been searching for a new roommate, I’ve also been nurturing existing and new relationships, and I celebrated my thirtieth birthday.

In the past six weeks, I’ve also listened to a new album, finished a book, and watched five movies. In this post, I will write about the album. In parts 2 and 3, I will write about the book and the movies I’ve seen. Enjoy! (Weeks 20-25: May 12-June 22)

Album: Hit Me Hard and Soft (2024) by Billie Eilish

Intro:

I became enamored with Billie Eilish’s work thanks to her second album: Happier Than Ever. However, I’ve been intrigued by her ever since her first album came out. I remember the first time I heard “Bury a Friend” and how it made me feel. I was on my way to accept a job offer for my last job when suddenly the song came on the radio. I thought it was so creepy and different, and I was shocked that something so weird was being played on a pop radio station. I went into the office, signed my contract, and when I got back into my car to head home, “Bury a Friend” was again playing on the radio. Later on I listened to “Bad Guy” on the radio as well, and again was confused about what was happening. I listened to all of When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, and on top of those two songs, I also loved “i love you” because it was so delicate and lovely. While I wasn’t a huge fan of the album as a whole, I admired her range.

I’m ashamed to admit that, for a while, I felt quite envious of Billie. I thought, “How could such a young girl have so much talent?” I am a feminist, for sure, and I know we’re supposed to support other women and lift each other up, but there’s always been a part of me that struggles when it comes to comparisons. Even back when I was in high school, I was envious of Mary Shelley for writing Frankenstein when she was just nineteen. I don’t think I’m alone in feeling this way. I think our culture and how women are raised conditions us to compare ourselves to one another. Am I as pretty, smart, skinny, talented, or accomplished as her? How can I make myself stand out? How can I get the boys to notice me? Pick me! Pick me!

I hate that it took me so long, and discovering Billie Eilish, to finally confront this nasty side of me. It really takes quite a bit of unlearning to get to the point where we can truly be happy for others’ successes free of any envy. As I get older and begin to see the younger generations step into the limelight, I remind myself that I must be openminded and let them shine. As a teacher, I am proud of my students’ accomplishments, and so now whenever I see new artists arising, I try to extend that same sense of pride that I feel for my students. Maybe it’s cheesy, but I truly agree with Whitney Huston: “I believe the children are our future.”

Back to my journey with Billie Eilish… Again, Happier Than Ever is really the album that made me become a fan of hers. You could argue that it is mainly a breakup album, but I love that she sings of many things: fame, aging, learning to love oneself, the way women are objectified by the media, power imbalances in relationships, love, and falling out of love. To me, this album is a 10/10.

Finally, in the wake of my most recent breakup, the title song really hits different. He doesn’t really read my blog, and even if he did, oh well. Here’s the lines that I relate to:

My Thoughts:

Now that you know my general thoughts about Billie Eilish, let me tell you what I think of Hit Me Hard and Soft. I think this album is good, but not amazing. I have many many thoughts about it. I do really love half of its song, but I just don’t think it’s as powerful of an album as Happier Than Ever or as innovative as When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?

Finneas, Billie’s brother and producer, is undeniably talented, and his work in Hit Me Hard and Soft is great, but the album doesn’t feel like anything new and exciting. It feels like it’s rehashing what we have already heard in their first two albums. I know we shouldn’t expect for artists to always be evolving and doing new things. I know it’s ok for them to just give us more of what has already been working for them, but I need more to really fall in love with an album.

Even if I looked at Hit Me Hard and Soft on its own and didn’t compare it to its predecessors, I would still think it was just fine. I would say that it’s a breakup album, not that there’s nothing wrong with that. I would say this album is specifically about her relationship with The Neighbourhood’s Jesse Rutherford. I think it’s great that artists can process their emotions through their craft and put out albums like this that give us a glimpse into a chapter of their lives. It’s like with Taylor Swift’s most recent album, I didn’t love it, but I love that she has a lot of feelings about her relationships and a lot of things to say, and that she’s not scared to get it all out of her mind and out into the open.

I’ll give you a breakdown of what I think of each song in Hit Me Hard and Soft. I will bold my favorite tracks:

1. Skinny: This song gives us an introduction of what this album will mainly be about. Eilish reflects on getting older, losing weight, the public’s perception of her, and how she fell in love with a friend, but the relationship did not last. The song ends with a preview of “The Greatest.” If Hit Me Hard and Soft were a movie, then “The Greatest” would be its theme song. The album opens with it, it’s there in its entirety in the middle, and it there again in the the final song.
2. Lunch: Eilish recently came out as bisexual. Woo! This song is fun and flirty. The production reminds me of the Arctic Monkeys.
3. Chihiro: Eilish is a fan of Hayao Miyazaki’s work, just as I am, and this track is an ode to his film Spirited Away. As usual, her vocals are so soft and beautiful at times, and at other times they are strong and emotional.  The production on this one reminds me of Röyksopp.
4. Birds of a Feather: This tune has become so popular on TikTok/Instagram. It’s so romantic that it’s almost sappy. While on the surface it seems really cute and like a feel-good tune, if we take a closer look at the lyrics, we can tell that this relationship may not last. Yes, there is a lot of love, and the two are kindred souls, but the person Eilish sings to seems to struggle with insecurities, feels jaded, and does not fully embrace her love:

I want you to see, hm

How you look to me, hm

You wouldn’t believe if I told ya

You would keep the compliments I throw ya

But you’re so full of shit, uh

Tell me it’s a bit, oh

Say you don’t see it, your mind’s polluted

Say you wanna quit, don’t be stupid.

• Wildflower: Sonically and melody-wise, I don’t think this song is very interesting. At the same time, I think the lyrics are pretty interesting for several reasons. I’m going to insert myself into this a bit… I went to high school with Jesse Rutherford. He was a senior when I was a freshman, and he had a long-term relationship with Devon Lee Carlson, who was in the same year as me (I can’t remember if we actually had classes together). It is speculated that Eilish is singing about her in this song and about their complicated relationship. Something that others might relate to with this song is the insecurity that we might feel when comparing ourselves to our partner’s past lovers. For instance, do they love us more than they loved their ex? Is our connection better than theirs was? Etc.
• The Greatest: Again, I think this song is the theme of this album. It’s a moody anthem, and it reminds me quite a bit of “Happier Than Ever.” This song is very sarcastic. It’s about being set aside by a lover who is emotionally unavailable and the resentment that builds up because of this.
• L’amour De Ma Vie – This song is playful and again, very sarcastic. It’s reminiscent of the sarcasm in “I Didn’t Change My Number.” The first half of this song is jazzy and bossa-novay. Closer to the end it turns into a completely different, electropop-y kind of song. I don’t really like this track, but I guess at times after a breakup we might all feel bitter and petty, and that’s what this song conveys.
• The Diner – The melody in this track is very similar to “I Didn’t Change My Number.” Again, it sound very bossa-novay and seems to be about a stalker.
• Bitteresuite – The melody in this song again feels like something we’ve heard before from Billie Eilish. I can’t quite make sense of the lyrics, but it seems to be about the start of a new relationship, but feeling somewhat uneasy about moving forward with it.
• Blue – This song is about still not being over someone and about the specific issues with the relationship. If in fact Eilish is singing about Jesse Rutherford, then it sounds like she I saying that he has a lot of unresolved issues from his upbringing that prevent him from being fully available romantically. I understand the feeling of having to let go of someone because they have not healed from their traumas and are therefore unable to be fully present in a relationship. “I don’t blame you / But I can’t change you / Don’t hate you / But we can’t save you.” Ain’t that the truth.

My Rating:

Favorite Songs: