One of my friends lent me Know My Name, and because it’s a heavy read, it’s taken me a while to finish it. Believe me, it’s worth it. (Week 19: May 5-11)
Book: Know My Name: A Memoir (2019) by Chanel Miller
Summary:
Know My Name is a powerful memoir written by Chanel Miller, formerly known as Emily Doe, who was sexually assaulted by Brock Turner at Stanford University in 2015. In her memoir, Miller recounts her experience as a survivor of sexual assault, shedding light on the trauma, legal process, and societal attitudes towards sexual violence. She reflects on her journey towards healing and reclaiming her identity, while also advocating for changes in how sexual assault cases are handled. The book offers a poignant exploration of resilience, justice, and the importance of speaking out against sexual violence.
Summary written with the help of ChatGPT when prompted “Summary of the 2019 memoir ‘Know My Name.’”
My Thoughts:
Saturday, January 17, 2015: It was the long Martin Luther King Jr. weekend right before the Spring semester of my junior year in college. I was living in Southern California, and my parents, who had moved from California to Arizona a couple of years earlier, were in town for a wedding. We danced together and enjoyed ourselves at the intimate backyard wedding. I was also going through the process of getting over a guy who had moved out of the country. I finished reading Beowulf in preparation for the British Literature class I would be taking that semester. On January 18th, I wrote the following in my diary: “Overall, it was really a lovely weekend with my parents.”
In Northern California, Chanel Miller probably also expected to have a lovely weekend with her sister, who was also a junior in college and visiting for the long weekend. They spent the day of January 17th doing things that were probably just as trivial as the things I wrote about in my diary. Unlike her, I wouldn’t need to end up remembering all the minutia of the day down to what I ate. I wouldn’t have to list how many drinks I had at the wedding I went to. I wouldn’t have my life and character picked apart in court, the media, and the internet.
I know I write a lot about “me, me, me,” but one of the ways that I try to understand what I read is by relating it to my own life. I think looking back helps me empathize even more with Chanel, and even her sister. Chanel is only two years older than me, and in a different world, we might have gone to the same university together. We might have even taken some of the same classes, actually, since we both majored in English. I went to community college in Santa Barbara and got accepted into UCSB, which is were Chanel went. I ultimately chose to transfer to a different university, but what I’m trying to get at is that I personally relate to some of the things she mentions in her memoir. I graduated from SBCC on May 23, 2014. Chanel was in Isla Vista that night. May 23rd was the same night the Isla Vista massacre happened when that disgusting incel murdered six people. I didn’t know any of the victims, but some of my classmates from SBCC did personally mourn their passing.
I wish I had taken the time to use my diary to write down my feelings on the important things that were happening in the world at the time. I wish I could tell you what went through my mind when I first heard the news of what happened to “Emily Doe.” I’m sure I read the news on my computer while taking a break from schoolwork and turned to my roommate and said something like, “Did you hear about … isn’t that crazy?” I wish I could tell you that I whole-heartedly empathized with Chanel when I first read about her, but I know I was a different person then. I know that our collective understanding about consent, rape, and what it means to be a victim wasn’t as developed. I’m sorry to say that probably, in the back of my mind, I thought something like, “Why didn’t she take care of herself? Why did she drink so much?”
What happened to Chanel on the night of January 17, 2015 was horrific, and the way she was revictimized by the justice system and the public is deplorable. I admire her courage to fight for justice and to share her story. We shouldn’t expect for survivors to become activists or to be an inspiration to others. Nobody would have blamed Chanel if she had decided to heal in private, but I am grateful that she chose to use here gift: her ability to write. By exposing everything that happened to her, she gives voice to the voiceless. Thanks to activists like Chanel and the #MeToo movement, many of us now have a better understanding of what consent means and how we should treat victims of sexual assault. We should all know now that it doesn’t matter how much someone has had to drink, or what they were wearing, or if they didn’t explicitly say “no” to another’s advances. We deserve respect, and we all deserve to feel safe.
While it’s not an easy read, I hope more people will give Know My Name a chance. If it’s too much for you to read, Chane’s victim impact statement is also very powerful. Like Chanel, I too believe in human goodness. I still believe we can make the world better if we continue to grow and show one another kindness.
My Rating:
References:
OpenAI. (2024). ChatGPT (May 15 version) [Large language model]. https://chat.openai.com/chat
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